redstringtheories | r/Am I the Asshole?

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Am I the Asshole Meme

Time to find catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us - and find out once and for all whether you're right...or if you're the asshole. Judgments here will be absolutely impartial and in no way whatsoever extreme or reactive, no sir.

How to Post

Format the title of your top-level as a question beginning with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (Am I The Asshole/Would I Be The Asshole?). ~~Bury the lede here so it sounds way better or worse than it really was.~~ Be sure to clearly summarize matters!

In the body of your top-level comment, describe the series of events that led you to question just who is actually the asshole in an interpersonal conflict. Describe what happened, and definitely ~~leave out the incriminating parts~~ tell both sides of the story! Tell us who the players in the story are, but maintain anonymity! Assign pseudonyms to everyone involved. It's also customary to provide age and gender when known, such as (27f), (36nb), or (18m).

Summarize why you think you might be the asshole in one or two sentences. Self-reflection is healthy!

How to Reply

Tell us how you really feel. What makes you think the person you're replying to is an asshole...or not? ~~Should they divorce their spouse and/or disown their entire family immediately?~~ Do you have any advice for them?

Pass judgment. At the beginning or end of your reply, use one of these acronyms to officially state your position:

YTA (You're the Asshole)

NTA (Not the Asshole)

ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)

NAH (No Assholes Here)
Or request more information! If you feel that the poster has not provided enough information to pass judgment, start your reply with INFO and ask whatever questions you need answered before you can render judgment.

How to Accept Judgement with Grace and Aplomb

Provide more info when requested ~~and justifications for your behavior when not requested.~~ Also, feel free to threadjack one another to defend or dogpile Schrödinger's Asshole. It's the Wild West out here.

Format Examples

WIBTA if I report my coworker for keeping her stuff in the basement at work?

I (22m) have never gotten along with my coworker "Mildred" (60f). I guess coworker might be a stretch because we're in different departments, but I hate it any time I have to deal with her. To be honest, she totally gives me the creeps. To give an example, she went on a long work trip and took our coworker "Daniel" with her and then came back without him, saying he'd put in his notice while they were abroad. I don't believe it; whatever she did to him, he must have quit because of her. Now I've found out that she's been using our office building as her own personal storage facility; I don't know what she's keeping in the basement but I know it's not work related. WIBTA if I reported her to our boss?

Why I think I might be the asshole:
To be honest if it was anyone else I wouldn't really care since it's not like anyone goes down there (it's kind of a maze left over from earlier construction). I would just be reporting her because I don't like her.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay, so I (31F) ended up flirting with a guy (early 20s M), before realizing if I wanted to make curfew, I'd need to bring him home to a company housing apartment, which I unfortunately share with two guys (18M and early 30s M). I tried to be quiet (though that was definitely an effort), but...like. Is it wrong to bring guys home to a shared living space?

I do have my own bedroom and the door was shut, fwiw.

You’re not the asshole. Why? Did your roommates give you a hard time?

Not really. I mean, they may have judged, there may have been some awkwardness.

nta

if they have a problem they can get earplugs

NAH

You should be able to bring home people for sex if you want, but it can be uncomfortable to find an unexpected stranger in what's nominally your home. Maybe you want to sit down and talk over a simple way to let each other know you'll be having company so no one is surprised next time.

NTA

NAH

but you should probably make sure there are some ground rules for it for everyone in the apartment going forward so that way nobody feels awkward 🤔 or at least not more awkward than they have to feel

So I (27M) came from a really shitty work environment -- and when I say shitty, I mean 'multiple dead people' shitty.

I've been keeping an eye out for anyone else here at ADI who worked in a similar field, and I think people assume I'm interested in making friends with people with a similar job -- they've already nudged me towards one other guy here. Truth is, I want to keep my guard up in case I run into shitheads like the ones I used to work with so I can handle it appropriately. AITA? I don't think I need to disclose something that's really not anyone else's business.

It is always worth giving people a chance, is it not? Perhaps those in this world will not be as the ones you knew. Trust is a bridge easily swept away, but that is no reason not to attempt to cross it first. There may be something wonderful on the other side.

I mean, I'm giving the guy a chance. I'm not writing him off or anything, he might be a perfectly good guy. But I gotta say I've got my hackles raised just in case.

NAH as long as you're being polite 👍👍 we're all coming from a lot of different circumstances so I think it's normal to have some baggage about it especially if you're coming from someplace really bad

During the carnival that was in town, I (28F) decided to scare a Mime. Listen. I don't know if you guys can feel the things I do. But I feel as though I need to torment someone and not just in the usual way of being myself. I mean, I feel as though I need to scare them. I've been fighting it. I have! It's exhausting. I thought the carnival that came into town would be the perfect hunting ground.

I found a performer and when he started to do his boxed-in routine I created a force field around him. I made it smaller and smaller. He looked so afraid but the crowd loved it, they laughed and cheered. He was anonymous.

Why I think I might be the asshole: I didn't get his permission before scaring him.

This seems an unkind thing. Did you apologize to him after?

No.

YTA

Tormenting someone so you can feel better is always the asshole choice. And it was someone just minding his own business, doing his work.

At least go to a bar and find some pick up artist to terrorize the next time you have the itch.

Thank you.

NTA.

Live your best life. ;)

YTA, that's mean and that could also be really dangerous for you too! 😲 there's info on how doing to much with powers makes bad things happen so you need to keep fighting any urges you have

YTA. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're the kind of monster we're all fighting against.

So I (18F) was doing a job with a colleague (18M) and we were walking down the docks and arguing. He was sort of just taking offence at everything I did or said because a couple weeks ago I told him his jacket was ugly.

Anyway, our argument attracted the attention of some punks and they started catcalling me and harassing me and then they picked a fight with my colleague because he stood up for me. ANYWAY one of them got in my face and threw my colleague to the ground so I used some magic to make him angry at his friends instead and attack so me and my colleague could get away.

He got mad at me and told me mind control was wrong or whatever and that people could've been hurt or even killed but I was really trying to just get them off our backs before they started actually wanting to beat the shit out of my colleague.

Why I think I might be the asshole:
I don't think I did anything wrong, but I guess I could have used a different command. What do you guys think?

NTA. You did what you had to do to protect yourself and your colleague.

Fuck yeah.

INFO: when you say you got the guy you mind controlled to attack his friends, what do you mean? how badly did you get him to attack them?

Well, all I said was attack. He was the one who escalated to gun violence which just goes to show that me and my colleague would have been in trouble.

sounds bad but just keep reading:

I (44M) was doing my job and at my job were these two kids. These kids were fucking DEMONS that escaped from hell, they even had red hair to prove it. One of them screamed out loud that I was trying to rape him, they both called me a slur, and didn't respect me in the slightest. I needed to establish my authority, but words were failing in this situation and I had to get this one kid - lets call him C - to listen to me.

Anyway long story short I punched him in the nose. He wasn't too badly hurt, no blood, but now people think I'm crazy for doing that! AITA?

bro what

what??

Dude, what the fuck?

Why did you even think you needed authority over some random kids? They're not yours, right?

because these fucking gremlins were in the middle of a crime scene throwing rocks at a corpse! i had to stop them!

....why were you at a crime scene? Are you a cop punching kids?

INFO:

What?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

r/Am I the Asshole?

AITA for bringing a guy home?

Re: AITA for bringing a guy home?

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AITA for not sharing personal information?

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AITA for charging my powers?

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Re: AITA for charging my powers?

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AITA for using magic to defuse a situation

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Re: AITA for using magic to defuse a situation

Re: AITA for using magic to defuse a situation

AITA - punched a child (stay with me here)

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